amor fati?
Amor fati is a Latin phrase that may be translated as "love of fate" or "love of one's fate."
The aim of this project is to help me to find a love of my fate, and in doing so share some useful tips and practices and ideas that will help others to find a love of their fate.
The plan is to set myself an experiment or goal each month that - based on my research on happiness, meaning and fate itself - that should help me get closer to my goal of amor fati.
Each experiment will involve 2–3 different practices or regular actions that I can take over the course of the month's experiment. I’m measuring my love of fate with a very simple little form that I’ll fill in at the end of each month, as well as keeping updates here on Substack.
the experiment: establish values
What does establishing values have to do with loving fate?
Human's are literally fuelled by wanting things. If an infant's body needs food, it recognises a discomfort, it automatically springs to action by making a fuss until its caregiver provides the nutrition. I'm not sure it's possible for me to sit for 10 minutes without a want for something arising in me.
Sometimes it's a purely physical want: my foot's falling asleep, I want to move it and be comfortable again. Other times it's more abstract: a vision of a yellow dress pops into my head, probably inspired by a vintage fashion account on Instagram, and off I go to the Google God to ask for what I want, believing I've just found the secret to my happiness and it's only £49.99.
Of course the reason we want things is that on some level we believe they’ll make us feel happy. We don't know how long for, but we're willing to go to extreme lengths sometimes to make it happen.
I don't want to confuse feeling happy with loving fate. This isn't an experiment in getting what we think we want in order to be happy. I'd have called this the Happiness Project if that was the case, and that's been done.
The point in this month's experiment is to shine a light on the desires we have for things that we think will make us happy, casting a cool eye on them, in the hope that in uncovering the root cause/s of those wants and desires, we can find a different kind of peace.
In other words, maybe I do still need to move my foot. But maybe I don't actually need to purchase the yellow dress, because I now understand that the root cause for that desire is something I can never truly have anyway - or that I already have it. Either way, there's an acceptance for what is - maybe a love for what is - that I can discover.
Season of the bull
Before you start thinking I'm proposing this experiment is a way to stop wanting things, or that we shouldn't want for anything, let's back up.
The reason this is our experiment for Taurus season (April 20–May 20) is that a lot of astrology clients come to me not because they want to know how to get what they want - which is one way to use astrology for better or worse - but because they don’t actually KNOW what they want - and that actually is quite a difficult spot to be in.
I'm not making a case for not wanting for anything. In fact, I’d argue that not knowing what you want can sometimes directly correspond with depression, as well as a discontent with our fate.
It’s feeling hungry but not knowing what will satiate you, and it’s quite an uncomfortable place to be in.
I’m not promising a quick fix out of that place, but I am hypothesising that this month’s experiment will help us to get closer to knowing what we want from this life, so that we may embrace our fate and understand ourselves and the path we walk more intimately.
You can't always get what you want...
Knowing what you want doesn’t guarantee you’ll get it. For example I might be hungry and be craving that croissant I had in Paris that time. There’s no way I’m finding one that good in Haywards Heath, but knowing that I’m craving butter and carbs and a sense of comfort, may help me in my next culinary decision. Maybe I go for some fresh white bread, toasted with lashings of butter. I might not get 100% what I want, but I’m a damn sight closer than I was when I was just hungry with my head in the fridge.
You know it's Taurus season when you're salivating over the thought of melted butter as you write.
Again, this isn't an experiment to figure out how to get what we want: it's to figure out what's driving our desires, in order to orient ourselves to something more in line with our fate.
If the breeze is carrying us east, but we think we need to go west, we're going to have a hard time of it. If we can find out the true direction we're being carried in, even if we still want to go west on some level, we can start to orient east - and come to terms with our true direction.
But if you try sometimes,
well, you might find
You get what you need
Ah, yeah
Oh…
Reorienting our inner Venus
This experiment aligns with the solar ingress to Taurus, a sign we associate with value, both in a material sense, earthly value, but also in a more abstract way; what do we value or what do we love, what brings us joy?
These are all things that the goddess Venus, who finds her temple in Taurus, is associated with.
The best side of Venus relates to beauty, a sense of order and true harmony; a place for everything and everything in it's place.
The dark side to Venus is getting wrapped up in a shallow or overly material expression of values, getting wrapped up in lust and desire - especially for material things - and this can happen if we haven’t fully examined and given ourselves space to really consider our values... so that is what we’re doing this month.
how to follow along
If you're interested in reading updates on my journey to amor fati, I invite you to follow along, which you can do very easily, and for free, by Subscribing to this stack...
I'm just one person of course. What works for me may not work for others, and vice versa. Plus, other people living out their own fates likely have a lot to teach me about what helps them to live and even love their fate.
So while I'm researching this, I want to know if these practices work for others. And if like me, you're interested in hanging out with a bunch of other soldiers of fate each month, you can go one step further and sign up using a short form, linked below.
Filling that out means I can email you the links to the private discussion groups held on zoom at the end of each experiment. In addition, I might offer you 1:1 call to go more in depth on how your birth chart (I'm an astrologer by the way) reflects your experience of fate.
the practices
#1 Value Assessment
If you've been hanging out in the personal development world for longer than a minute, you've probably come across some kind of value assessment exercise. You might have been asked to list out what matters most to you, and extrapolate some values. Or maybe you were fed a list of words, and asked to circle the ones that felt most important to you.
If you haven't, you don't have to bother - chances are, your core values will fit into the following 10 buckets (based on Schwarz’ theory of basic human values, 1992), even if we use slightly different words:
power, authority or wealth
achievement, success or ambition
hedonism, joy or pleasure
stimulation, adventure or excitement
self-direction, creativity or freedom
universalism, inclusion or equality
benevolence, integrity or helpfulness
tradition, humility or devoutness
conformity, obedience or belonging
security, safety or order
The problem with these value assessments is that not all values are created equal. I'm not in the business of judging any values as 'good' or 'bad', but I do want to point something out: Some values are more likely to lead us to make crappy choices (and/or be manipulated into making crappy choices by others)
So knowing that, maybe it's time to look a bit closer at the dark side of our values.
Here's an example (from a friend, of course):
Value: Freedom
Higher value expression: Going on adventures, meeting interesting people; ability to live anywhere because home is where I hang my hat.
Lower value expression: Inability to support myself because I get bored in jobs, inability to have meaningful lasting relationships because I can't commit.
So it isn't a problem with the core value necessarily; it's how it manifests.
The Practice: Get a list together of your values (or use the one I provided.) Then, as in the example, write down some examples of ways it manifests in its higher form, as well as its lower form.
Some will be more loud, others more subtle - but have a go with all of them (usually the tricksier they are, the more they reveal.)
#2 Desire Blinkers
For context on this one, I recommend checking out Lost Connections by Johan Hari. In the book, which is mostly about the real cause of depression, he describes an interesting study:
In 1978, two Canadian researchers conducted an experiment with children, age 4–5 years old. They divided the children into two groups: one exposed to no advertisements, the other to two ads for a specific toy. Afterwards, the children were given a choice: play with a mean boy who had the advertised toy or play with a nice boy without any toys.
Those who saw the toy commercials predominantly chose the mean boy with the toy, while those who hadn't seen the ads played with the nice boy without toys. This suggests that advertisements influenced the children to prioritise material possessions over genuine human connections.
In other words, we can be taught - or manipulated - into wanting things that may not be in line with the higher expression of our values. Maybe that isn't news to you, but it feels important enough for me to base our first practice around it.
I believe all my values are programmed to a greater or lesser extent by my upbringing, life experiences, society and culture I live in, and fate has made damn sure I can't change any of that. Like 'em or lump 'em, my values are here to stay.
However, I would like to do what I can to make deliberate choices based on my values; rather than have a marketing team decide what I want, and sell me it. Advertisers know what we value, and they take advantage of that.
If I spend less time hanging out in places that encourage me to make crappy choices, then in theory... I can make better choices, based on how I want to live my values.
The Practice: Delete instagram.
Duh. The source of bad choices and crappy values. I kid, kind of, but really. Get off that thing. Actually having the Substack app on my phone has already reduced my social media addiction, but this month I'll go one step further and cut it out entirely. No Instagram.
You may have a different poison. A certain friend/group of friends, a family member. Put on your desire blinkers by removing yourself from situations or environments that you know are feeding crappy choices.
#3 Hot or Not
Now for a fun, ongoing practice for the month ahead.
Sometimes those big value assessments can feel too life-or-death. Like we're wedded to these abstract concepts and now have to get them tattooed on our inner arm, or that bit above the elbow. Thankfully, I have a practice that will bring our values right down to earth.
My friend keeps a list on her fridge door known as her 'Hot or Not' list. We grew up in the 90s, and miss it terribly.
Just take a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle. On one side of the line write the word 'HOT' at the top, and on the other side write 'NOT'.
The idea is to use the list as a way to get to know what you value on a daily basis, which will often be in the smallest, most inconsequential seeming moments. Fuck I really like expensive Earl Grey tea. It competes with my value of stinginess - I mean frugality - but I really, really value a good cuppa. It's going on the HOT side.
Or maybe today I decide that freshly cut flowers are overrated. They go on the NOT side.
You might review the list at the end of the week, only to find you prefer green tea now, and Earl Grey is out. That's the other benefit of this one: you see how fickle your likes and dislikes are, and how your choices can flicker with the slightest breeze. Or maybe you're more steadfast than me, but heck: this is a great way to find out.
The Practice: Keep a Hot or Not list.
I think I explained it above. Any questions, send me an email: hello@catroseastrology.com
how to follow along
If you're interested in reading updates on my journey to amor fati, I invite you to follow along, which you can do very easily, and for free, by Subscribing to this stack...
I'm just one person of course. What works for me may not work for others, and vice versa. Plus, other people living out their own fates likely have a lot to teach me about what helps them to live and even love their fate.
So while I'm researching this, I want to know if these practices work for others. And if like me, you're interested in hanging out with a bunch of other soldiers of fate each month, you can go one step further and sign up using a short form, linked below.
Filling that out means I can email you the links to the private discussion groups held on zoom at the end of each experiment. In addition, I might offer you 1:1 call to go more in depth on how your birth chart reflects your experience of fate.